the meanest comment i've ever gotten: follow-up
OKAY so i wrote a blog post last night about the most hurtful comment i've received. my point of the post was to be real and authentic and show that people are mean no matter who you are or what you look like.
the whole post kind of backfired on me hahaha because for some reason, it opened a door to all ma haterz and became a free-for-all for them to say whatever they wanted without considering my feelings. it was honestly kind of cool for me because i could really practice what i was preaching: water off a duck's back. i was reminded how hurtful words can be and was given the opportunity to strengthen my ability to not let other's words tear me down.
THAT BEING SAID, i do think there is a difference between being kind and getting walked over. you gotta stand up for yourself at some point. i think that's an important part of self-love. you have to have enough respect and confidence in yourself to be able to have your own back. i think that being able to defend yourself while being kind is an awesome skill and something that i'm trying to work on now.
the first rude comment i got on my last blog post said i was a "wanna-be" and i think that i'm "prettier and healthier than everyone else". i touched on the first part on my instagram story last night, but i absolutely agree with the original commenter in saying that i am a wanna-be. i always wanna-be better. i have always been a perfectionist and i am always trying to be better. i always want to be a better wife, mother, and friend. i think we should all want that for ourselves! as for the second part... i have never once felt that i was prettier and healthier than everyone else. haha i was self conscious of my hair most of my childhood because it was so different. all of my pretty friends had shiny, straight hair that they could run their fingers through. when i try to run my fingers through my hair, i get stuck about an inch away from my roots. so. there's that. most days i feel like i'm a solid 4 out of 10. not tryna get compliments or pity, just tryna be real. as for the "healthier" part... hahahahaha girl do i have news for YOU. i have been hard core struggling with emotional eating for about three years and it almost destroyed me. it is not healthy to have 98% of your thoughts surround food, i guarantee you. i am finally starting to crawl out of the hole but i think it will always be something i struggle with. i'm learning to work with it and love myself despite my imperfections. fortunately, i genuinely enjoy working out. i love exercising! i have had tons of requests from people to post work out videos, so i have been doing that more often. i never meant to give the impression that i'm healthier than everyone else. i know i'm not. i have eaten probablyyyy close to 3000 calories in one sitting multiple times. I AM NOT HEALTHY. but i'm TRYING. i'm working on it. and i didn't mean to give the illusion that i feel i was superior in the process.
the second rude comment i got accused me of being "worldly". i don't really know what that means haha (plz don't expound amber f i am v fragile rn and trying to hold it together) but if i had to guess, i think this commenter was referring to the kinds of photos i post...? maybe because i am posting pictures that are more thought out and/or sponsored? i feel that a lot of bloggers/influencers get accused of not being "real" or "authentic" because the pictures that they post are taken with a nice camera in good lighting and include the hashtag #ad or #sponsored because it is their job to advertise the products that they receive from the companies they work with. i know that that is not everyone's reality. there are lots of cool jobs out there that other people have that i don't get to experience! working for an airline, for example. how cool would it be to get free flights!! but i don't hate people for that? i don't accuse them of not having a "real life". my life is real and i promise i have bad days, sometimes more often than good. i apologize if i ever seem fake on social media. i don't mean to. posting a picture because a company hired me to doesn't make me inauthentic or not genuine. it's just a job. AND it's a job that i can do while staying at home. i worked 50+ hours a week last semester at an extremely busy restaurant. i had to work the night shift because i didn't want to be gone all day while storie was asleep and feel guilty for not being there for her. i would get home between 2:00-3:00 in the morning most nights and would be emotionally and physically EXHAUSTED. being an influencer allows me to work pretty much from home while spending time with my baby. it's a job that works better for my schedule and my family and my baby's needs. i don't think that myself-- or any other influencer-- should get slammed for that. also, this same commenter told me that i look retarded doing duck face and i should get lip injections. i don't really know what to think of that or how to respond to it.
the third rude comment i got was this morning, just an hour or so ago. they said: "it's funny that you're LDS and an "influencer" yet you were showing off your stomach and butt in your instagram story yesterday! way to be a role model to your followers and your daughter :-)" THIS one hurt the most. this one was the hardest for me to bounce back from. i think that every mother in the WORLD wants to be a role model for their children. when someone accuses you of doing otherwise, even if you don't know who they are, it hurts. it is crippling. i don't feel that i was showing off my stomach or my butt. i always try my hardest to be "modest", but i think that that includes what you wear AND how you act. i don't feel that i flaunted my stomach or my butt. i posted a glute-focused workout, so i guess my butt was featured the whole time? but like if i was gordon ramsey, i'd give my cakes a 1/10? but even if i WAS flaunting my stomach and butt... it doesn't give anyone the go-ahead to bash and cyberbully. everyone has a stomach and butt that they can flaunt if they want to, but more importantly, everyone has FEELINGS. everyone has a heart. a heart that is like a big piece of construction paper: you can crumple it up with hurtful words and comments. you can apologize to try and make it right or you can try to embrace the "water off a duck's back" principle and not let it affect you. you can try to un-crumple the heart. but it will always be wrinkled. tbh: i feel a lil wrinkly rn.
luckilyyyy, i have had so many kind people reach out and say NICE things! you guys have helped me feel not as wrinkly. i'm so grateful for that and i am sorry if i didn't respond to your email or DM. i'm grateful for your examples of spreading kindness and taking the time out of your day to try and make mine brighter! i am kind of over this whole ironic blog post and am not going to dwell on it anymore, but i hope that something you read resonated with you! in a world where you can be anything, be kind. be kind if you're talking to someone with 200 followers and you have 200,000. be kind if you're talking to someone with 200,000 followers and you have 200. words hurt no matter where they come from! in every interaction, conversation, and comment, you have the opportunity to make or break someone's day. i hope you choose to make it.