IT HAS BEEN THE WORST WEEK.
it all started last sunday (february 4th). brandtly's job doesn't start until the 20th, so he took advantage of his time off and decided to surprise his parents up in washington with storie. so fun for them, so sad and lonely for me!! they were gone for an entire week and i had to stay in arizona because of school.
on tuesday night (the third night that they had been gone and i was slowly dying), brandtly and i were on the phone together looking at houses we have saved for potential purchasing. he brought up one that he had saved a while ago but i had somehow overlooked: it was within our price range, in a good neighborhood, and only a six minute drive from my parents' house. i was pumped!!! i immediately texted our realtor and set up an appointment to see it the next morning. i promised brandt that i would facetime him once i was there so he could see it with me.
the next morning, 10 AM, i pulled up to a darling white brick house with a porch and lots of windows. my heart started to beat with excitement. "this is it!!!" i thought. i eagerly hopped out of the car, calling brandtly and greeting our realtor. i got even more excited as we toured the home. it was the perfect size for our family of three, had a brick porch patio, lots of orange trees in the back, and a darling washroom area. i could feel my creative senses tingling and couldn't wait to get back to my laptop to look at inspiration pictures on pinterest. i imagined wood flooring throughout, knocking out a dividing window to open up the space, lining the wall of the built-in entry nook with Mediterranean tile. i could see little stewie running around in the backyard while i admired her from the kitchen. i was SO EXCITED.
"unfortunately, the house has been on the market for only five days and it has already been shown about twenty-five times," the realtor informed me. my heart sank. if there were competitive offers, it would take us out of the race for the house. we wanted to save plenty of our budget for renovations and couldn't afford to offer much more than was asked.
i drove home, slightly discouraged. i called brandtly and expressed my love for the house. "i think this will slip out of our fingers if we don't do anything", i remember telling brandtly. "if we're serious about this, we need to act fast."
"i wish i was there," brandtly responded. "i hate that i haven't really seen it in person yet."
the rest of the conversation was a blur. i don't really remember the exchanges that led to our conclusion, but we decided to offer $5k less than the offering price and just see what happened. we weren't very hopeful because of the popularity of the house. i remember telling myself to not get my hopes up, and this would really just be a learning experience before us. it would be good to feel how the process of offering works: the submission, the waiting, the rejection. surely they wouldn't accept our offer.
narrator: THEY ACCEPTED THE OFFER.
i remember getting a text the night after i saw the house saying that they had accepted the offer and i was SHOCKED. i was filled with complete ecstasy, followed by utter horror. BRANDTLY HADN'T EVEN SEEN THE HOUSE. WE ACCIDENTALLY GOT A HOUSE!!! WHAT HAD WE DONE!!!!!
i facetimed brandtly immediately, unable to think. he answered and saw me, pale in the face, with my hands covering my mouth.
"...what's wrong?" he asked.
"they accepted our offer," i heard myself say.
brandtly didn't say much.
the days that followed were horrible. he was still in washington, completely unable to see the house. i wanted this house more than anything and brandtly wasn't on board. we were forced to be patient (which is reeeeaaalllllyyyy hard for me!!!) until he got back to arizona. when he got back on sunday (yesterday), we drove straight from the airport to the house.
he didn't like it. i was crushed.
first of all, THE SELLERS THOUGHT THAT THEY HAD FOUND THEIR BUYERS. it made me literally sick to my stomach that we were just like "lol, jk, sry, first time home buyerz, we take it back!!!! :'-)" and i couldn't handle it. i hated that we let our realtor down. but mostly, i just really wanted the house. i crave having a place and a space to call my own and i had felt that this one was perfect for our family.
sunday night after seeing the house, we decided to sleep on it, reevaluate how we were both feeling in the morning, make a decision, and then we would update our realtor. i have to admit: i kind of that brandtly would wake up and say "i don't know what i was thinking, this house is perfect for us, living here will be amazing, let's do it!" and everything would be A-okay.
narrator: everything was not A-okay
i woke up convinced that this was THE HOUSE FOR US and he was convinced that it wasn't. after lots of discussion and tears (from storie) (haha jk they were from me), we made the decision to officially rescind our offer and give up the house.
reasons for telling this story: just being *~real and authentic~~ with you guys. i want you to know that life is hard and sticky and i have some days that SUCK. i have days where i feel sad. unproductive. ugly. lonely. inadequate. life can be hard sometimes. that being said, i'm a firm believer that bad days don't make a bad life, but a bad attitude does. the emotions of this experience are still raw because it happened so recently and i might cry s'more tomorrow lolz who knows. BUT a house doesn't bring lasting happiness. you eventually outgrow them and move out. or they burn down (too soon? #crockpot #iloveyoujackpearson). they're temporal. people, however, are not.
and i'm still right by my favorite person in the woooorrrrrlllllld. this was the first significant disagreement that brandtly and i have ever had. it was kind of a relationship milestone. it was really hard and pretty hurtful for me to want the house so badly and feel like it was just right and for brandtly to feel so strongly that it wasn't the best choice for our family. especially when we don't have another option lined up to really compare it to. this disagreement is another reason why i wanted to share this experience: it is normal for couples to fight. you are imperfect and so is your significant other, so of course you will have problems. the important thing is not IF you will fight, but HOW you will respond when contention inevitably arises. i have a dank husband that leads by example. he is super thoughtful, considerate, and selfless, so it makes it easier for me to be nice when he is an absolute angel (pro tip: marry someone betta than you). he handles conflict with me how i think it should be handled: with my thoughts and feelings as his top priority. even though this specific situation didn't work out in my favor and i didn't "get what i want", brandtly was so sincere, apologetic, and loving the entire time. he was so sad when he knew we had to take back our offer because he knew that it would break my lil heart. even though i personally wanted the house and felt that it was right, that doesn't mean that it was the best choice for our entire family. i think that that is the best part about being a spouse or a parent: you are a part of something bigger than yourself. you are constantly forced to think of someone other than yourself.
SO. no house for us. we are still on the hunt. stay tuned on how the rest of this story will end. fingers crossed it ends with a house. sooner rather than later.